13 Things Learned in 2013

It's no secret that 2013 has been a challenging year for my family. If I were a superstitious type I'd say it was due to unlucky number 13. I'm not superstitious. Instead it's been a year of growth and learning. In no particular order 2013 has taught me the following:

1. Any amount of money in savings is good and beneficial and not to be taken lightly. It is important to try and rebuild that savings when possible. The whole idea of saving for a rainy day, yeah, do that. Rainy days happen. We didn't have much in our savings when I lost my main income but we had enough to buy us some time and now that I am slowly rebuilding that cushion I realize just how important it was.
2. Budget your life off of one income. If you are married don't bank on both incomes to afford bigger better things. Instead buy the house that you can afford on one income. I was entirely without income for a few months this year and while it would have been wonderful to have a larger home or at minimum a home on more land instead of our humble townhouse we could pay our mortgage every month. There was no panic of foreclosure due to job loss. Sure, other areas were a juggle and a struggle but we knew we would have a place to live and that is a kind of security that is worth more than you can imagine when you have children.
3. Don't be afraid to ask for help or accept help. This is a lesson I've been learning slowly. Pride can prohibit blessings not just for you but for someone else as well. My grandmother doesn't remember saying this but she told me once that when you humble yourself and accept help not only are you opening yourself up to being blessed you are opening someone else up to be blessed as well by being a blessing.
4. Saying "no" is empowering and exhausting. When you don't have the funds to do something and you say no because it is responsible and you know it makes a difference its empowering and allows you to start saying no to the things that were draining obligations as well. Obligations that don't bring you anything in return cost you. Saying no is also exhausting when your child needs new pants and you have to say "I know but we have to wait till xyz date." 
5. Saying "yes" is often a privilege. Do not take it for granted." Can we get pizza?" "Can you buy me a new binder mine broke?" "Do you mind coming over to help with this and that? " "Can we go to the cabin?" All those things took time and or money we didn't have to give removing the ability to say yes.
6. Sacrificing good healthy food for budgeting reasons is harmful. Just don't do it. It brings you down mentally. It drags you down physically, and it hurts your budget in other areas, like unexpected medical bills.
7. Taking care of yourself is crucial. I cannot emphasis this enough. When you are going through a difficult time the best thing you can do is make certain that you are keeping yourself healthy. It is not easy. It takes work but the work is rewarding. It keeps you up where you need to be in order to handle what is thrown at you. It allows you to be the support that you need to be in a challenging time. As a parent it is even more powerful because you are modeling to your children what health is and that difficult times do not have to be dark times. Health is so much more than physical. You are worth the effort.
8. Goals are good but it's okay to set them aside if they are becoming a stressful thing instead of an enjoyable challenge. A challenge that is difficult to achieve is good. A challenge that starts to negatively impact other areas of your life is a stress and a negative thing.
9. The hard work and exhausting years of parenting do eventually start to bear fruit. It has not been an easy ride with our oldest. She's been more than other children since birth and the parenting has been intense. Learning how to dance with her and have her learn along the way was so hard sometimes you just wanted to say "Fine, lets do it your way." but that would have been failing her. Right before she turned 12 we started to see all those exhausting efforts bloom. It is worth it. We need to stay at it.
10. The decisions of generations have a lasting impact. Decisions that were made generations before my arrival have set my family up for the security we experience within relationships. It's a strange thing to say and I know I am being vague but truthfully what you work for, those fights for the good things, the good decisions, the hard decisions, they have a lasting impact.
11. Time is not guaranteed. There have been a few experiences this year that have really opened my eyes to how fleeting our time with each other can be. It is not to be taken for granted. Hold your children tight, offer forgiveness, receive forgiveness, ask for hugs while you can get them. Someday they could be gone and those moment will become ever more precious.
12. God's will for your life doesn't have to be a huge great amazing thing. It can be simply living with Him at the center and letting His love shine through you day in and day out.
13. Having 13 things I want to work on or improve on is too many.

What have you learned this year?