The One Thing You Must Do

There are lots of things you can do, should do or could do in the face of stress and crisis. Some of them are good ideas while others are, well, not so good ideas. But there is one thing you must do during a stressful season or a crisis. One thing that makes muddling through the muck of life and sifting through unappealing options more tolerable. You must take care of yourself.

It's no secret that my family is facing some tough financial times. That is a heavy enough a weight to carry while nurturing three children, a marriage and being pulled in many a different direction to make house payments. But we've also been handed some difficult news for a very dear family member. My mom is facing some rather serious surgery this month. So, couple that with the regular stresses of life and the financial burden we are sorting out and I am feeling the full, crushing power that is stress.

However, there is that one thing that is making a huge difference. It is that one thing that I cannot let slide. I must take care of myself. That's not a selfish thing at all. It could be but most of the time it is not, especially while staring into the glaring face of stress.

Self care is simple but it is often one of the first things to get lost in the demands of a crisis. You need to know what routines and habits are necessities to your mental health. Those essentials will be different for everyone.

I hadn't realized I had started to let my self care go in the last month. It was only really over the weekend that I realized how far I had let it slide and the toll it was taking. First, I noticed how dusty my guitar had gotten. Then, I noticed my Bible hadn't moved from the corner of my dresser in I didn't know how long. Then, I was feeling frustrated with my skin and my hair was a tangled mess. I hadn't run in weeks nor had I been on the bike trainer that sits in my living room. These are my essentials. I need the forgiving challenge of music. I need the closeness of communing with God. I need to feel good in my own skin. I need to release the tension and stress that builds through sweat, elevated heart rate and big muscle movement. I need time for me and I wasn't making any of it happen.

It didn't happen suddenly. It was a slow series of decisions and non-decisions that eventually resulted in the voice in my head becoming a bully. I work hard to be an optimist and train that voice in my head to see the silver lining, the hidden beauty and the small gifts that are part of life in the dirtiest, grittiest times. But whoa!  Without the little essentials of my self care routine the optimist was starting to drown in that half empty glass and she was berating me about it.

What I was telling myself wasn't just affecting me and how I felt but it was effecting how I interacted with my children, my husband and how I made decisions throughout the day. I have a lot of projects open right now. This is good but with open projects comes lots to manage. When the bully in your head is telling you, "You suck!" there is no managing other than to eat and mope. Not an option right now.

So, I went and got a hair cut. I talked with an old family friend. I spent some money and got some nice face care products to help treat my skin breakouts. I tied on my running shoes and did the ugliest slowest run I had done in months. I tuned my dusty guitar and played the best mediocre country music ever.

Am I back to the overflowing optimist I usually am? Not yet but I know once I pick up my Bible and meditate on God's promises, return to my writing and maintain my habits of self care I will be. It's the one thing I must do. It influences everything else.

What are your essentials? 

Keep chasing perfection, people. 

Eventually we are going to Catch Excellence.