Dear Baby Girl

Dear Baby Girl,

You can cry. It's okay. I know you're still strong. I know what your feeling. No Honey, I'm not just saying that like some people try to sympathize. I know first hand what it is like to be still a child and face situations in which adults would panic.  You did good, Baby Girl.  You can talk about it if you want.  I'll listen.  I'll share if you want me to. I understand.  I know. You were brave. You were calm and you were the help that was needed right then. I know those inner jittery nerves you are hiding. I know that brave face you are trying to put back in place. The mask of okay in the face of a situation that is just not. If the mask makes you feel better then wear it. If you need to take it off, Dear One, know that it is safe. I know. I understand. No, this might not be the last time you need to help in a time of confusion and scare. No, I can't promise everything will be okay next time. Yes, I know it can be scary. You were brave and strong and you're help made a difference, Dear Baby Girl. Of course I'll hug you. If you don't want me to see your tears I won't. I know. I understand. Darling, you forget I am her sister. I grew up with these experiences. If anyone understands it's me but I'll only comfort you and support you in the way you want to help you through your own experiences. For me she was a child. For you she's an adult. I understand it is different but also know it is very much the same. You can cry. It's okay I'll protect your tears.


The Alpha was with my mother, her grandmother, the other night when my sister, her aunt, had a grand mal seizure in the car causing her to collapse in her seat and get stuck between the seats while my mother was driving. No one else was with them. My sister is special needs and chronically ill. Seizures are not unusual but not common either for her. However, this was the first time my daughter experienced her aunt having such a large seizure. Not only was she present during the seizure but due to the unique circumstances The Alpha had to help my mother. I was not there and I only know what my mother shared with me and what The Alpha shared with me. What I do know is what it is to be the child in that situation and how I wanted my feelings handled had I been brave enough as a child to take the mask off.

To write this was a challenge for me. By nature I am a rather private person. Some stories should be told because when you hold them too long they build shame. There is no shame in being strong or weak. There is especially no shame in having someone special in your life who needs more than others, with whom your relationship will never touch "normal."

Keep chasing perfection, people.

Eventually we are going to Catch Excellence.